Please read this before you use Tidva

What Tidva is, and what it is not

Tidva is a coordination tool. It gives two parents (and trusted guardians they invite) one place for calendars, messages, updates, expenses and records.

Tidva is not:

• supervised or supported contact, or a replacement for a child contact centre or contact supervisor;
• mediation, counselling or family therapy;
• legal advice, or a way to decide who is right in a dispute;
• a safeguarding, child protection or emergency service;
• a substitute for a court order, a parenting plan agreed through professionals, or advice from a social worker, Cafcass officer or solicitor.

Tidva cannot check what people tell it, cannot verify who is telling the truth, and cannot step in between parents.

Is Tidva right for your family?

Using a shared app means ongoing, direct contact with the other parent: they can see shared calendar entries, updates and messages, and can send you messages. For that reason, Tidva may not be suitable if:

• contact with the other parent is unsafe, or you fear what they might do or say;
• there is a court order (for example a non-molestation order, restraining order, or child arrangements order) or bail condition that limits contact or sets how you may communicate;
• a professional such as a social worker, Cafcass officer, solicitor or contact centre has advised that contact should be supervised, supported, indirect or limited to a specific route;
• there are safeguarding concerns about a child that have not been resolved with the right professionals.

Follow court orders and professional advice

Please follow any court order and any safeguarding advice you have been given by a professional. Tidva does not override them. If something in a court order or professional plan conflicts with how Tidva works, the order or plan comes first.

Do not use Tidva to arrange contact that a court or professional has restricted, to get around an order, or to put pressure on someone to agree to arrangements they do not want. Tidva does not know what orders or plans are in place for your family.

Records in Tidva are not designed or certified as legal evidence. If you may need to rely on messages or records in court, ask your solicitor how best to keep them.

Domestic abuse, coercive control and unsafe contact

Domestic abuse is not only physical violence. It includes controlling or coercive behaviour, threats, emotional and psychological abuse, financial abuse, harassment, stalking, and using children or contact arrangements to keep control after a relationship ends. It can happen to anyone, and it can continue after separation.

Ways a shared parenting app can be misused

• Pressure to reply immediately, or a flood of messages, including at night.
• Threats, insults or intimidating language in messages or notes.
• Demanding to know where you are, who you are with or what you are doing.
• Using expenses, receipts or the calendar to control, blame or financially pressure you.
• Asking for, or forcing, access to your phone, account or password.
• Creating accounts or invitations in order to monitor someone, or pretending to be someone else.
• Using holiday requests, handovers or children's details to restrict contact or to find out where someone lives.

If you do not feel safe

• Trust your instincts. You do not need to be sure it is “abuse” to ask for help.
• Talk to a specialist helpline (listed below). They can help you plan, whatever you decide about Tidva.
• Consider whether a shared app is safe for you. Leaving a family or deleting your account is your choice. Before you do, think about whether you may need copies of messages or records, and ask a helpline or solicitor how to keep them safely.
• If you are in danger, call 999. If you cannot speak, you can call 999 and follow the instructions, or, if you have registered in advance, text 999. If you are deaf or speech-impaired, you can register for the emergency SMS service by texting “register” to 999.

Staying safe on your device

If someone else may have access to your phone, email or accounts, consider using a device and email address they do not know, a strong passcode, and checking for apps or settings you do not recognise. Refuge’s technology safety guidance has practical steps: refugetechsafety.org.

If you are worried about your own behaviour

If you are worried that you might be harming your partner, ex-partner or children, the free Respect Phoneline can talk in confidence: 0808 802 4040 (respectphoneline.org.uk).

If you are worried about a child

• Immediate danger: call 999.
• Worried about a child, or want advice: the NSPCC helpline is free on 0808 800 5000, or contact your local council’s children’s services.
• A child or young person who wants to talk: Childline is free on 0800 1111 (childline.org.uk).

Tidva is for parents and trusted guardians. It is not designed for children to use.

Reporting misuse of Tidva

If someone is using Tidva to threaten, harass, monitor, impersonate or control you, email support@tidva.com with the subject “Safety report”. Please say what happened and, if you can, which account is involved. We review reports and can take action under our Terms of Use, including suspending an account.

We cannot respond to emergencies, and we cannot decide disputes between parents. Where there is a risk to life or a child, always contact 999 or the services below first.

Emergency and specialist support

Calls to these freephone numbers are free from UK landlines and most mobiles. Opening hours can change, so check each website.

Emergency

• 999Emergency: immediate danger to you or a child. For non-emergencies, call 101 or use police.uk.

Domestic abuse

• 0808 2000 247 – National Domestic Abuse Helpline (Refuge)Free, 24 hours. nationaldahelpline.org.uk
• 0808 801 0327 – Men’s Advice LineSupport for men experiencing domestic abuse. mensadviceline.org.uk
• 0800 999 5428 – GalopSupport for LGBT+ people experiencing abuse. galop.org.uk
• 0808 80 10 800 – Live Fear Free (Wales)livefearfree.gov.wales
• 0800 027 1234 – Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline (Scotland)sdafmh.org.uk
• 0800 917 1414 – Women’s Aid Federation Northern Irelandwomensaidni.org
• 0808 802 9999 – Rape Crisis (England and Wales)rapecrisis.org.uk

Children

• 0808 800 5000 – NSPCC helplineAdvice for adults worried about a child. nspcc.org.uk
• 0800 1111 – ChildlineFor children and young people. childline.org.uk

Separation, contact and legal information

• Family Mediation CouncilFind an accredited family mediator. Mediation is not suitable in every situation, so tell them about any safety concerns.
• CafcassInformation about children’s interests in family court in England.
• National Association of Child Contact CentresInformation about supported and supervised child contact centres.
• Citizens AdviceFree, confidential advice on family, legal and money questions.

Tidva is independent. It is not connected with, and is not endorsed or approved by, any of the organisations listed here. They are listed for information only.